Men from Boys by John Harvey

Author:John Harvey [John Harvey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2004-09-01T16:00:00+00:00

PLASTIC PADDY

George P. Pelecanos

‘I hate Arabs,’ said Paddy.

A guy sat facing a good-looking blonde in a booth against the far wall. The guy was minding his own business. He and the girl were splitting a pitcher of draught and smiling at each other across the table. He would say something, or she would, and the other one would laugh. It looked like they were having a nice time. Paddy was staring at the guy like he wanted to kick his ass.

‘How you know he’s an Arab?’ I said.

‘Look at him,’ said Paddy. ‘Looks like Achmed Z-med, that guy on T.J. Hooker.’

‘Adrian Zmed,’ said Scott, the smart guy of our bunch.

‘Another Arab,’ said Paddy. This was five or six years after the Ayatollah, Nuke Iran and all that crap. Paddy was the only guy I knew who hadn’t given that up.

Me and Paddy and Scott were in Kildare’s, a pub up in Wheaton we used to drink at pretty regular. Wheaton was our neighborhood, not too far over the DC line, but a thousand miles away from the city, if you know what I mean. It was a night like most nights back then: a little drinking, some blow, then more drinking to take the thirst off the blow. Only this night ended up different than the rest.

I’d put the year at 1985, ’cause I can remember the bands and singers that were coming from the juke: Mr Mister, Paul Young, Foreigner, Wham . . . Hell, you could flush the whole Top Forty from that decade down the toilet and no one would miss it. Also, Len Bias was lighting it up for Maryland on the TV screen over the bar, so I know it couldn’t have been later than ’Eighty-five. Maybe it was early ’eighty-six. It was around then, anyway.

Paddy was up that night, and not only from the coke. He always seemed angry at something back in those days, but we had chalked up his behavior to his hyped-up personality. Just ‘Tool being Tool.’

O’Toole, I should say. Up until he was twenty-three, Paddy’s name was John Tool. Most everyone who knew him, even his old man before he kicked, called him Tool. It was a nickname you gave to a fraternity brother or something, like Animal Man or Headcase, which was all right around the fellas, but didn’t go over too good with the girls. Paddy liked it all right when he was growing up, but when he got to be a man he suddenly felt it didn’t suit him. Still, he wanted a handle, something that could make him stand out in a crowd. He wasn’t a guy you noticed, either for his character or his appearance. I think that’s why he changed his name. That and his woman problem. He’d never had much success with the ladies and he was looking to change his luck.

What he told us was, he’d paid to have one of those family tree things done and found that he was all Irish on his mother’s side.

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